


the five times jungeun fell in love and the one time love remained

by eclipseul



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: 5 times 1 trope, F/F, Light Angst, Mentions of Sex, like a tiny one, rosie and lisa cameo, short appearances by hyunjin and hyejoo, viseul if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-26 12:03:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18716698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eclipseul/pseuds/eclipseul
Summary: In which Kim Jungeun falls for pretty girls like it’s her job.





	the five times jungeun fell in love and the one time love remained

**Author's Note:**

> chuulip discuss me… what they be saying

 Kim Jungeun’s first love came in the form of a pretty, older transfer student from Hong Kong. She was in the fourth grade and the girl was in sixth, at an age too young to really understand what love is but she swears on her life that her breath hitched when she first laid eyes on Wong Kahei.

 

Kahei was quiet but she commanded attention. Or maybe it was just that all of Jungeun’s attention was always on her.

 

It was a random autumn day, like any other, when Jungeun first heard Kahei speak to her. She was in line to get lunch when she realized she had given Jiwoo one of her quarters earlier that morning upon discovering it was a Virginia coin (one that Jiwoo didn’t yet have!). Jiwoo liked to collect cool and rare coins and Jungeun always made sure to pay attention to the coins her mom gave her as lunch money or that she scavenged from in between the couch cushions, to give to her best friend. In return, Jiwoo would always bring her a tasty peach Yakult for her troubles. It was a fun and fair exchange but now, she was 25 cents short for lunch. Jungeun frowned deeply because it was pizza day and she _really_ liked pizza.

 

She stared at the single quarter in her palm, ready to resign to not having her favorite greasy dish today when a hand reached out and dropped a $1 bill into her already open palm. Jungeun’s eyes widened as she looked up and met eyes with the object of her affection. Kahei gave her a small smile in return.

 

“Have a nice lunch.”

 

Four words spoken out in the softest of manners was all it took for Jungeun’s face to ripen into a tomato. She stood there blushing profusely for reasons she didn’t completely understand or could put a name too yet.

 

It was when Kahei started walking away from her that she regained her bearings and shouted out a belated “Thank you!”.

 

The girl turned around, nodding in acknowledgement, all smiles and laughs. And Jungeun swore she had the prettiest laugh known to woman, eyes all scrunched up and crinkling.

 

When Jiwoo found her best friend at their usual lunch table later on, Jungeun’s cheeks were still dusted pink. Jiwoo poked at it experimentally and laughed out loud when Jungeun was snapped out of her daze and jumped in her seat.

 

Jiwoo had asked her then what had her so jumpy. Jungeun merely shrugged and went back to (not so discreetly) staring at the pretty sixth grader walking the length of the playground, picking flowers she found at the edge of the field. Jiwoo followed her gaze and her mouth made an ‘o’ shape in realization.

 

“Oh, she is SO pretty.”

 

Jungeun threatened to take her quarter back at the teasing smile Jiwoo gave her afterwards. She didn’t, though.

 

\----------

 

Kim Jungeun’s second love came in the form of a crop-top and leather jacket wearing free spirit. It was the summer right before she was set to start high school and her family had just moved into a new neighborhood (which really wasn’t much of a move, it was only 5 minutes away from her old neighborhood which meant she would still be going to the same high school as Jiwoo).

 

Her new neighbors were a friendly middle-aged couple with three children. There were the twin sisters, Ha Hyunjin and Ha Hyejoo, who were just a year younger than her. And then there was their older sister, and Jungeun’s infatuation for the summer, Ha Sooyoung.

 

In the eyes of fourteen year old Jungeun, sixteen year old Sooyoung was just about the coolest person she knew. She was sauve, chic, and had the type of wardrobe Jungeun wished she could pull off. She also knew how to get boys to do whatever she wanted. Sooyoung always had guys pursuing her, flocking to her whenever she was out, trying to chat her up and get her phone number. She was pretty in an in-your-face type of way, her presence begging for the attention of anyone nearby. And she knew it too. Which only served to make her even more attractive.

 

Jungeun had plenty of chances to talk to Sooyoung that summer seeing as their two families quickly became acquainted. Her parents were always trying to encourage her to befriend the twins, who were closer to her age, but she would always seek out their older sister instead, after joint-family dinners, and would usually find her sitting on the patio deck scrolling through her phone.

 

She would take a seat hesitantly next to her, pretending that she only found her way to the backyard to get some fresh air and not because she was actively stalking the girl. Sooyoung would always give her a fond smile, the cool summer night breeze tossing her hair in the most ethereal way, and made small talk with her, asking her if she was excited to start high school and the like. Jungeun would try to keep her answers as nonchalant as possible, trying her best not to give away just how enamoured she was with the older girl, and failing. But Sooyoung was either kind enough or indifferent enough to not point out her burning ears every time they talked.

 

Sooyoung had a summer job at the local ice cream parlor. The first time Hyunjin and Hyejoo invited her to tag along with them (probably per their parents’ request), Jungeun brought Jiwoo too, since the latter was hanging out at her house that day. Jiwoo perked up at the mention of ice cream and was skip-hopping the entire way there.

 

When the group arrived, there weren’t any other customers in the store and only Sooyoung was working in front, so she let them all try as many ice cream flavors to their heart’s content. Jiwoo was buzzing by the time she finally settled on ‘Strawberry Mascarpone Cheesecake’ and as they all paid and settled down at a table near the front register, Jiwoo suggested Sooyoung joined them too since it wasn’t busy.

 

And maybe it was the way Sooyoung beamed back at Jiwoo or took the seat right next to her or how at some point in their conversation, Jiwoo lifted her spoon and offered Sooyoung a taste of her ice cream (and Sooyoung readily acquiescing) that Jungeun couldn’t help, even though she knew it was just in Jiwoo’s personality to make friends wherever she went, but feel a pang of jealousy in her chest.

 

Sooyoung may have been her second love but she was the reason for her first coming out. That night as Jiwoo and Jungeun were laid up in the latter’s bed together, for their 12th sleepover that summer (Jiwoo was practically living at Jungeun’s house at this point), Jungeun spoke out into the dark room, the thoughts that had been plaguing her mind all day.

 

“I think I like Sooyoung.”

 

Jiwoo hums in acknowledgment but doesn’t open her eyes. “She’s really cool.”

 

“No, I _know_ I like Sooyoung.”

 

“I like her too.”

 

Jungeun stares at Jiwoo who still has her eyes closed and a content smile on her face.

 

She huffs. “I mean… I _like_ like Sooyoung.” A pause. “I like girls.” Another beat of silence. “I’m gay, Jiwoo.”

 

Jiwoo finally flutters her eyes open at that, craning her head to the side to try and make out her best friend’s features in the darkness of the room. She gives her a reassuring smile she’s not even sure Jungeun can see and slips her hand into the other’s sweaty palm, giving it a tight squeeze.

 

Jungeun didn’t end up getting anywhere with Sooyoung that summer, unsurprisingly. The older girl was way too out of her league and only saw her as another little sister. But she did get plenty of free ice cream that summer.

 

\----------

 

Kim Jungeun’s third love came in the form of the confident girls’ swim team captain. Jung Jinsol and her had built up a sort of rivalry over the years, both competing to be the top swimmer on their high school’s swim team. It didn’t help that both had showed up at the start of her junior year with similarly newly dyed blonde hair. And yet another rivalry was born.

 

Jungeun didn’t know if it was surprising or inevitable that they ended up making out in the locker room after an especially intense practice one day, after all their other teammates had left.

 

It became a normal thing for them. Sneaking off into deserted hallways or empty classrooms to make out with each other. It didn’t take long for budding feelings to develop between the two.

 

During one of the first major swim meets of the year, Jinsol edged out Jungeun by less than half a second in the 100 meter freestyle race. Adding insult to injury, she then proceeded to ask Jungeun out in front of the entire crowd.

 

It was probably the most embarrassed Jungeun had ever felt in her life. She immediately felt heat rising to her cheeks, painting them that crimson red they were so accustomed to. Overcome with a whirlwind of different emotions, ranging from angry to touched to uncomfortable, she could do nothing but wave her hands around uselessly and sputtered out nonsense. Jinsol only gave a teasing smirk in response, finding Jungeun’s stunned reaction completely adorable.

 

It only took one day for them to make their relationship social media official, their online statuses updated to the ever romantic “in a relationship with”. The two blondes walked into school that following Monday after the weekend swim meet hand in hand, much to the surprise of half the student body who only ever saw the two bickering or fighting.

 

Jinsol was everything that Jungeun wasn’t and in that way, they balanced each other out. Whereas Jungeun was calm and reserved, Jinsol was carefree and unabashed. Whereas the shorter blonde was a high-maintenance neat freak that liked to planned everything to a T, the taller blonde was laid back and spontaneous, the type to jump headfirst into something without warning. Jungeun liked trying new foods and Jinsol was a picky eater so the former never felt guilty about stealing food off her girlfriend’s plate.

 

They still bickered and fought and competed like before. The only difference now was that the competition ended once they stepped out of the swimming pool. The bickering and playful fighting, however, remained a staple of their relationship.

 

Jinsol may have been her third love but she was her first official kiss (Jungeun doesn’t count the awkward and stiff peck she exchanged with junior varsity cheerleader Kim Doyeon at a party her sophomore year to be it), her first girlfriend, and her first time. Their relationship wasn’t perfect and they had their fair share of ups and downs, but in the eyes of a love-stricken sixteen year old Jungeun, she truly believed Jinsol and her would last forever.

 

They broke up at Jinsol’s senior prom.

 

The older girl was graduating in less than a month and she had decided to pursue her dreams at a school halfway across the world. Jungeun was proud of her, of course, Jinsol had gushed about her dream school multiple times while they were dating, but would always do so in a self-deprecating way like it was some unrealistic and unattainable goal. Jungeun was also glad she waited until the night was over to break the news because at least then, they were still able to enjoy their last evening together as a couple.

 

And even though they ended on good terms--Jungeun showed up to Jinsol’s graduation with flowers and cheered her on-- she spent that night crying in the arms of the one person she knew would never leave her.

 

“You know,” Jiwoo said to her once her sobs had died down, “maybe if you stanned Loona, you’d still have a girlfriend.”

 

A pillow connected with her face shortly after.

 

\----------

 

Kim Jungeun’s fourth love came in the form of a drunken college hook-up turned something more.

 

It was her first year of college and like a bad cliché, she had been dragged out by her hall mates on a Friday night to a frat party. Upon entering the crowded house, Jungeun already knew that this wasn’t her scene. But she figured she would at least hang around for an hour before making up some excuse about feeling tired and dip.

 

It didn’t help that Jiwoo was busy that night, out at dinner with her theater group which led to karaoke and a text to Jungeun stating she wouldn’t be able to make it to the party accompanied by multiple crying face emojis.

 

Jungeun was about to just resign to a secluded corner nursing her cup of cheap beer and try to remain as inconspicuous as possible. That was until a whirlwind of short hair and confidence ruined her plans.

 

Jo Haseul, in all her presence and glory, sidled up right next to Jungeun on the wall, leaning against it sideways to face the blonde. Jungeun had turned to give the girl invading her space a wary look but was taken back by the sharpness of the girl’s feature and the brightness of her smile, a smile that was directed at her.

 

Seeing that she had caught her attention, Haseul let out a slightly nervous laugh before asking Jungeun if she wanted to be her beer pong partner. The blonde was definitely caught off guard since she didn’t even know this girl and had never met her until this very moment.

 

Haseul noting her confusion, quickly clarified that Jungeun looked like the most sober person in the room and having a sober partner would help Haseul’s chances at beating her two slightly inebriated friends at the party game. Taking the blonde’s silence as hesitance (in reality, Jungeun was just at a loss for words that a pretty girl approached her), she continued to explain.

 

“They’re totally into each other, my friends. But they’re both useless, oblivious gays who won’t make the first move. At least, not while they’re sober. I’m just tired of watching them tiptoe around each other, you know? Calling each other best friends as if they don’t want to be something more. So yeah, I’m trying to get them shitfaced drunk so that they’ll confess their feelings. It’s what any good friend would do.”

 

Jungeun was a little stunned, not having expected the short haired girl to be so blunt. She quickly snapped out of her trance though, which was honestly starting to make the situation awkward since she still hasn’t said a single word to the other girl. So she agreed, partly because she was bored out of her mind standing around biding her time to leave and partly because Haseul seemed easygoing and genuine (and pretty, has she mentioned how pretty the girl is?).

 

Much to Haseul’s dismay, Jungeun was a poor shot even when sober while Chaeyoung and Lisa, said useless, oblivious gays, were an extremely effective duo at the game. So effective that Haseul and Jungeun were the ones who ended up shitfaced drunk.

 

Though, Haseul didn’t seem to mind her plan backfiring or maybe she was just too far gone to even remember there being a plan in the first place. Jungeun and her were currently in the kitchen, the latter looking for any alcohol that wasn’t piss yellow keg beer or cheap vodka. Eyes landing on an expensive-looking bottle of whiskey, Haseul quickly swiped it and turned to give her blonde partner-in-crime a mischievous look. Their eyes met and held contact, a charged tension hanging in the air, almost like a challenge. It didn’t take long for Jungeun to grab her by the arm dragging her upstairs.

 

Twenty minutes and half a bottle of whiskey later, Jungeun was knuckle deep in Haseul, the other girl’s face buried in the crook of her neck as her nails left angry, red marks down the length of her back. The chorus of their pants and moans reverberating off the walls as it played along to the dull thump of bass coming from downstairs.

 

Loud college parties weren’t her scene but maybe she could learn to like them, if all her nights ended like this one.

 

Jungeun started going to parties more often, if only to seek out a certain short haired girl. Eventually their hookups weren’t always drunk and weren’t always at parties. It became an unspoken arrangement between the two, a friends with benefits situation where they weren’t exactly friends but were on friendly enough terms that each time one of them would hit the other one up, it didn’t feel so much like a booty call (even though that was exactly what it was). Things were fun and casual between them, exactly what they both needed.

 

That is, until Jungeun being Jungeun, decided to ruin everything by catching feelings. In retrospect, it really was hard _not_ to catch feelings for the shorter girl.

 

In Jungeun’s eyes, Haseul was nothing short of perfect. She was smart, witty, and charming. She was beautiful, kind, and loved by her peers. She was thoughtful and generous, volunteering her time every Sunday at the local animal shelter. How the blonde knew that when they weren’t even friends is a mystery to her (it’s not like she stayed up stalking the girl on every social media platform or anything). She was put together and responsible but could completely let loose and be the life of the party when she wanted to. She had a mesmerizing singing voice, one that rivaled even Jiwoo’s. With her sharp eyes, high nose, and cutely folded ears, she had had Jungeun wrapped around her finger that first night they met.

 

After months of casually seeing each other, Jungeun’s feelings finally caught up to her. She wasn’t sure what to do because everything had been going so well between them and feelings, especially if they were unrequited, would only complicate things.

 

Typically, Jungeun would seek out her best friend in times of turmoil but Jiwoo had just started dating someone and was in her honeymoon phase. Coming to her with all her angst, doubts, and fears felt like a selfish thing to do.

 

So Jungeun kept it bottled in and convinced herself she could live with what Haseul and her had now.

 

The blonde should’ve known by now that, in terms of love, nothing ever works out in her favor. After an intensely intimate round (or several rounds, Jungeun lost count after she came for the fourth time that night), the words escaped her lips before she could swallow them down.

 

Haseul froze in her movements. Realizing what she had just uttered out loud, Jungeun quickly pressed her lips together and squeezed her eyes shut, the sound of her choked out “I love you” replaying in her mind.

 

The blonde wasn’t sure what she expected but when Haseul whispered out, “I’m sorry... I-I don’t feel the same way”, her heart broke all the same.

 

Haseul may have been her fourth love but she was her first real heartbreak.

 

And things should’ve ended at that but Jungeun was an expert at making bad decisions when it involved Haseul. It borderlined on masochism when she decided to keep seeing the girl. Haseul was wary at first, scared of breaking the girl she now knew held deeper feelings for her but she eventually relented after countless reassurances from the blonde that it was just a slip of tongue in the heat of the moment.

 

Things went mostly back to normal, pesky feelings of love aside.

 

That is until Haseul caught feelings herself.

 

Except it wasn’t for Jungeun but instead, for a pink-haired political science major named Vivi who weirdly reminded Jungeun of her first love. It didn’t take long for Haseul to end things with the blonde completely, confessing honestly that she had started developing feelings for someone else.

 

It was the lowest Jungeun had ever felt and she couldn’t help but be bitter towards the new couple. She spent the following weeks on autopilot, crying herself to sleep at night then dragging herself out of bed the next morning to go to classes just to come home and cry herself to sleep again.

 

As time heals all wounds, Jungeun knew she would eventually recover from this. And maybe, it didn’t feel so much like the end of the world when Jiwoo came over with her favorite snacks and favorite pick-me-up movies and cuddled her from behind (Jungeun secretly loved being the little spoon but she would never admit that out loud) until the only movement that remained was the rhythmic rise and fall of their chests, their hearts unknowingly beating in sync.

 

\----------

 

Kim Jungeun’s fifth love comes in the form of her best friend. It’s almost comical how she never realized it before and that it takes Jiwoo getting into a serious relationship for her to finally admit it to herself.

 

It wasn’t like Jiwoo hadn’t been in relationships before, if anything, she had dated more people than Jungeun could keep track of. It’s partially due to the fact that they live together now, it was only natural they got an apartment together after graduating, which meant that Jungeun is forced to see Jiwoo be all lovey-dovey with her girlfriend in their shared living space most days of the week. It’s also partially due to the fact that Gyuri and her have been dating for over six months.

 

That was another deviation from Jiwoo’s prior relationships and flings over the years. They never lasted more than three months max and Jungeun never had to hear her best friend gush about them the way she does now with Gyuri. She briefly wonders if this was how Jiwoo felt about all of Jungeun’s past relationships.

 

Dismissing that thought, since she only feels this way because of the feelings she secretly harbors for her best friend and there was no way Jiwoo felt the same about her, she goes back to burning holes into the back of Gyuri’s head from her spot at the kitchen counter.

 

Jiwoo’s voice quickly snaps her out of her one-sided staring contest.

 

“Hey, we’re leaving for the exhibit now. Do you want me to bring you back anything for dinner later?”

 

Jungeun blinks, looking down at the sad bowl of cereal she has been angrily eating for the past ten minutes, figuring that she would just have ramen for lunch later and sleep for dinner. Jiwoo probably figured as much too which is why she was offering to get her food.

 

“Yes please.”

 

The redhead laughs. “You’re so obvious. I’ll text you later then.”

 

The now brunette watches as the two girls leave the apartment, Gyuri giving her a half-hearted wave on the way out which Jungeun only quirks her lips up in response.

 

Once she’s finally alone, the girl lets out a frustrated groan. The penguin exhibit that Gyuri was taking Jiwoo to see is a newly opened attraction at the city’s zoo, one that Jungeun had planned on taking the redhead to for her birthday later that month. She knew the other girl didn’t do it on purpose but it did nothing to quell the fear that she was being replaced.

 

Shaking her head, she goes to put her now empty bowl in the sink. She needs to get her mind off of Jiwoo before she explodes.

 

So Jungeun washes all the dirty dishes in the sink. Then she Marie Kondo’s her closet. Then she vacuums the entire apartment. She even takes the time to reorganize their DVD collection in alphabetical order by genre. By the time she’s done, the brunette flops onto the couch exhausted.

 

Her first coherent thought in hours? That Jiwoo still hasn’t come home yet. She’s honestly starting to feel pathetic at this point and thinks that maybe if she comes clean to someone about this, it’ll take some stress off of her.

 

Grabbing her phone from where it sits on the coffee table, she quickly opens Facetime with one of the only other contacts in her recents that isn’t Jiwoo.

 

Three rings laters, two faces slightly resembling one another fills her phone screen.

 

“Hey loser.” Hyunjin lets out in greeting.

 

“Okay really? This is why I never call you guys.”

 

“Why _are_ you calling us? You never do unless you need something,” Hyejoo asks this time.

 

“Wow, alright, not gonna even bother with small talk? What if I just wanted to check up on my favorite least favorite twins?” Jungeun deflects sarcastically.

 

The two girls just stare at her unamused.

 

“Okay fine. I may have a small dilemma.”

 

“And it is…?”

 

“A girl.”

 

A beat of silence. Then Hyunjin, “Oh, here she go again.”

 

“What’s _that_ supposed to m-”

 

“Just tell us who it is.” Hyejoo interrupts before the other two eventually start bickering.

 

Taking a deep breath, “IthinkImightbekindofsortofinlovewithjiwoo.” Jungeun mumbles out under her breath.

 

Surprisingly both twins manage to catch what she says and didn’t seem too surprised by the revelation. “It’s about time.”

 

“What?” Jungeun exasperatedly asks, slightly upset her confession didn’t seem to faze the other girls in the slightest when it felt like it took everything out of her just to say those words.

 

“Nothing. But what’s the dilemma here? Just tell her how you feel and go get your girl.” Hyunjin says as if she’s pointing out the most obvious thing in the world.

 

“It’s not that simple.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“She might not feel the same way? It could ruin our friendship?”

 

“Well you’re not going to know any of that until you try.”

 

“She also has a girlfriend. Am I supposed to just tell her to break up with her girlfriend and be with me? What kind of person does that make me?”

 

Hyejoo interjects between the small back-and-forth her sister and Jungeun were having. “Will you be satisfied with just being her best friend then? Holding onto your feelings without even giving her the chance to reciprocate?”

 

“Maybe I can.” Jungeun stubbornly retorts. She wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince.

 

Hyunjin rolls her eyes. “You obviously can’t since you called us for advice.”

 

Jungeun stays quiet. Hyejoo huffs. “Just tell her. You’ll have to eventually. And what’s the worse that can happen? Can you honestly tell me that you believe someone as sweet and understanding as Jiwoo would be careless with your feelings?”

 

She can’t.

 

“Wow Hyejoo, look at you being all wise for your age.” Hyunjin breaks the tension by teasing her twin.

 

“You’re literally 10 minutes older than me,” the younger girl deadpans. “Anyway,” she says turning back to Jungeun.

 

“Thing 1 and Thing 2 dinner’s ready!!” A familiar voice calls from off screen. A few moments later, the face of Jungeun’s second love makes her way onto the screen, squishing into the twins much to their annoyance. “Oh hey Jungeun!”

 

Ha Sooyoung was still as stunning as she remembered but the brunette no longer feels the same lingering feelings she did for the older girl anymore.

 

“Hey Sooyoung.”

 

“So, what are we all talking about here?”

 

“Jiwoo.” Hyejoo answers before Jungeun could come up with an excuse.

 

“Ooh Jiwoo, I remember her. She was such a cutie.” After a short pause. “Hey, is Jiwoo still single?” Sooyoung asks with a hint of suggestiveness in her tone.

 

Before any of them can say anything, Jungeun hears the door to the apartment being pushed open. She didn’t feel the least bit guilty about abruptly pressing the red hang up button on the call.

 

“Hey!” she greets Jiwoo almost too excitedly as the younger girl enters the living room. Jiwoo beams back at her, holding up the large bag of takeout she’s holding for the other girl to see.

 

The two roommates fall into an easy routine, putting on a random Netflix show as they eat their dinner. Jungeun watches fondly as her best friend recounts how cute the penguins at the exhibit were, animatedly gesturing with her entire body.

 

As the redhead finishes her story, she turns to the brunette with the most breathtaking smile, her eyes forming little crescents and her nose crinkling. Jungeun feels all the air being knocked out of her chest.

 

She can’t help herself as she breathlessly lets out, “I’m so in love with you.”

 

Jiwoo’s face falls in an instant, training the other girl with an expression Jungeun can’t read. The brunette holds her breath in anticipation, needing Jiwoo to just say something, anything. It feels like hours of silence but was probably only a minute or two before her best friend speaks up.

 

“God you’re so annoying, you know that? You literally waited until I finally decide to move on to suddenly realize that you love me back?”

 

Jungeun freezes, not having expected that reply. Jiwoo stays silent, waiting for the implications of her words to slowly sink in.

 

“Wait, what?”

 

The redhead sighs. “I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember Jungeun.”

 

“B-but you and Gyuri-”

 

“We broke up.”

 

Sensing the brunette’s unspoken question, Jiwoo continues. “She asked me to move in with her. And that sent me into a panic because I thought ‘it’s way too soon’. But the more I thought about it the more I realized that even if we had been dating for a year or two, I don’t think my answer would have been any different. Because it’s not that I wasn’t ready to live with her but that I wasn’t willing to live away from you. And I don’t think I ever will be. So I told her. She seemed upset about it but not surprised. Anyway, there really wasn’t any point to us continuing our relationship after that so we mutually agreed to break up.”

 

Jungeun is at a loss for words. Jiwoo is at the end of her patience.

 

“Are you going to say anything?”

 

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

 

Jiwoo lets out an exasperated groan. “I’ve _tried,_ trust me. I was discreet about it at first but after awhile I got bolder. I flirted with you, held your hand at every chance I got, gave you so many kisses on the cheek way too close to the corner of your lips to be platonic, and told you I love you in every way that I possibly could. I’d figured you were just too oblivious or didn’t want to say anything because you didn’t want to hurt my feelings. Although, watching you fall for every pretty girl that gave you the time of day wasn’t exactly fun.”

 

And just like that, Jungeun is hit with the metaphorical truck of memories she shares with the younger girl. All the times she thought Jiwoo was just being her usual affectionate self is seen in a new light.

 

It takes her awhile to regain her voice. “Jiwoo, I-I’m so sorry. I feel like such a complete asshole now.”

 

“Good, you should be.” Jiwoo states simply, as she moves closer to the brunette. When Jungeun looks up from where she was burning holes in the carpet, the other girl is right in front of her, all sense of personal space thrown out the window. “You can make it up to me by being the most amazing girlfriend ever.”

 

The other’s arms have casually made its way to wrap around her shoulders now, her hand playing with the hairs on the back of Jungeun’s neck, their faces inches apart.

 

“I love you,” the brunette can’t help but breathe out again.

 

“I know.”

 

Jungeun doesn’t know which one of them leans in first, and honestly, she doesn’t care. All she can focus on in that moment was the feeling of the softest pair of lips moving against her own. Maybe it was the years of build up or maybe Jiwoo was just that good of a kisser or maybe this is what kissing someone you’re in love with who loves you back feels like, but Jungeun feels like she can’t get enough. She lets out some kind of mixture between a squeal and a moan when she feels her bottom lip being sucked on, the other girl taking the opportunity to slip her tongue inside her mouth and deepen the kiss.

 

Eventually, they pull apart, needing to catch their breaths. They don’t stray far though, Jungeun leaning her forehead on the slightly taller girl’s, their noses brushing every so often.

 

“Is it insensitive for me to be kissing another girl like this not even hours after I just got out of a relationship with someone else?”

 

“I don’t know. I couldn’t care less.” Jungeun replies before leaning in to capture the other girl’s lips again.

 

Jiwoo might not have been her first love but she was her last.

 

\----------

 

“Hey, you wanna hear something funny?” Jiwoo speaks up from where she had been sitting on the couch, curled up in Jungeun’s arms. “Sooyoung just texted me for the first time in years with a ‘heyyyyyy’. Isn’t that so random?”

 

**To Sooyoung [9:46 PM]: I will literally kill you.**

  
**To Jungeun [9:47 PM]: ??????** _(unread)_

 

**Author's Note:**

> this turned out longer than i expected maybe because i fail at being concise and just word vomited all over this… anyway please let me know what you think if you thought anything about it! thanks for reading <3


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